Some context: For the past three weeks, I've been on campus at Carnegie Mellon for a six-week art+design program. I've been living in a dorm. I haven't been dreaming. I HAVEN'T BEEN DREAMING.
I think for most people, they're content with waking up and remembering emptiness or even waking up with a feeling of almost-remembering and then letting go. I am not most people in and of that sense, because some of the most fantastic things to have happened to me happened in dreams.
And so you may be thinking, "Maheen - you live a sad life if dreams fulfill you", to which I nod in partial-agreement. But only partial. Because if you look at what we know about dreams today, there's no set answer as to why we have them. Only theories. And the theory that I associate with the most, and feel the most excited about, is the one that suggests that we dream to organize our memory.
Now, I don't know about you but that idea that our brain does some sort of "independent thinking" when our bodies are in a state of almost-death is exciting! And if you don't find it to be that way, I think that's just an inherent difference in personality that is what it is what it is.
For the past several days, I've been sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and still waking up tired. And so you may be thinking, "Maheen - don't you know that sleeping too much makes you more tired?", to which I nod in partial agreement. But only partial. Because I know for a fact that if I want to be working at my peak, I need to sleep 12 hours. Thank goodness for coffee.
And right now I just woke up from a 4 hour nap, with the most fantastic dream that had elements I can now connect back to my recent memory. And right now I feel like I could take on the world, like I'll never need to sleep again. For as long as I can remember, I've woken up in the morning and remembered all of my dreams from the night before. Waking up felt like returning from another dimension, a break from reality.
When I came here, to Carnegie Mellon, those dreams stopped and that vacation from reality stopped. And now, I've learned a little more about myself - I've learned that impossibly, dreams are likely the most dominating second-tier-need to be met in my existence. I don't really know what to do with this information - maybe I'll just sleep on it.